Customer:* **Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my DVD out** **!!!* Tech Support:* Have you tried pushing the button?* Customer:* **Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.* Tech Support: *That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.* Customer:* **No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it yet. It's still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.* ............................................... . Tech Support:* Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the left of the screen.* Customer:* **Your left or my left?** * ............................................... . Tech Support: *Hello. How may I help you?* Male Customer: * **Hi . . . I can't print.* Tech Support: *Would you click on 'START' for me and . . .* Customer: *Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me. I'm not Billi Gates!!!* ............................................... . Customer:* *Good afternoon, this is Ma*rtha*. I can't print. Every time I try, it says . . . 'CAN'T FIND PRINTER'. I even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it!!! ............................................... . Customer:* **I have problems printing in red.* Tech Support:* Do you have a color printer?* Customer:* **Aaaah . . . . . . . . . . thank you.* ............................................... . Tech Support: *What's on your monitor now, ma'am?* Customer:* **A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11 store.** * ............................................... . Customer:* **My keyboard is not working anymore.* Tech Support: *Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer?* Customer:* **No. I can't get behind the computer.* Tech Support: *Pick up your keyboard and take ten steps backwards.* Customer:* **Okay.* Tech Support: *Did the keyboard come with you?* Customer:* **Yes.* Tech Support: *That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?* Customer:* **Yes, there's another one here. Wait a moment please. . . . . . . Ah, that one does work. Thanks.** * ............................................... . Tech Support:* Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'.* Customer:* **Is that '7' in capital letters?* ............................................... . Customer:* *I can't get on the internet. Tech Support:* Are you absolutely sure you used the correct password?* Customer:* *Yes, I'm sure. I saw my co*-*worker do it. Tech Support: *Can you tell me what the password was?* Customer:* *Five dots. ............................................... . Tech Support:* What anti-virus program do you use?* Customer:* **Netscape.* Tech Support:* **That's not an anti-virus program.* Customer:* **Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.* ............................................... . Customer:* **I have a huge problem! My friend has placed a screen saver on my computer . . . but, every** **time I move my mouse, it disappears.* ............................................... . Tech Support: *How may I help you?* Customer:* **I'm writing my first email.* Tech Support: *OK, and what seems to be the probl**em**?* Customer:* **Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it.* ............................................... . A woman customer called the Canon help desk because she had a problem with her printer. Tech Support: *Are you running it under windows?* Customer:* No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting next to me isby a window, and his printer is working fine!* ............................................... . .*And last, but not least . . .** .** Tech Support: **Okay Bob, press the control and escape keys at the same time.** ** That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.** ** Now, type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.** Customer: **I don't have a 'P'.** ** Tech Support: **On your keyboard, Bob.** ** Customer: **What do yo** **u **mean?** Tech Support: **'P' . . . on your keyboard, Bob.** * -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: <http://mailman.mn-linux.org/pipermail/tclug-list/attachments/20110222/0daf161f/attachment-0001.html>