On Thu, Jun 26, 2003 at 08:30:08PM -0400, STEVEWABC at netscape.net wrote: > This is nuts the first thing that comes to mind IS DO YOU NEED SOME > WINE WITH YOUR CRACKERS OR WHAT? Seting here complaining dosent go > vary far but if help is somthing you would like then we would love > to help you...With that said NEXT!!! Chad grins maniacially and thinks to himself, "Speaking of trolls..." He had been waiting to try out the new Trollinator 4000 Alpha 1 that Riff put together last week. As he untangles the monsterous gadget from it's bubblewrap and packing peanuts, he sighs inwardly; it's a beautiful piece of work. After admiring the polished gunmetal barrels, the nitrogen cooling tank, and the laser sight, he sets digs around the peanuts for a minute or two looking for the note paper that would likely hold the instructions. He did manage to find a dried slice of pizza, partially eaten, a ziplock bag full of what looked to be spare parts, a small knitted bootie -- Chad makes a mental note to get rid of the bootie pronto, and indeed, he finds a scrap of paper with a simple diagram and outline. It read: [ diagram omitted ] 1. Charge Trollinator: Standard 120V, Grounded Plug for 3+ hours (Note, Chad, it's pre-charged.) 2. Dial-A-Troll Setting: Choose for appropriate Troll: witty, amusing, moronic. 3. Insert Missile: Any object of your choice that can fit in the loading bay. (Rotton tomatoes work great. Potatos hurt!) 4. Remove safety: There is only one, just above the thumb. 5. Aim and Fire: Just make sure you're distributing your weight over the barrel of the gun. It kicks like a mule. BONUS FEATURE: Target Seaking Missile. Use the USB connection cable in the spare-parts ziplock bag. Pipe the appropriate data (i.e. and email message) through the device interface in /dev. Target aquired when light next to the site turns green. Aim toward sky and fire. Chad grins again. In a target rich environment, he's going to have fun! He grabs the gun and runs downstairs to the cat litter box and scoops in a couple choice morsels. He hooks up the gun to his workstation and pipes the appropriate email through /dev/riff/trollinator/0. The light turns green. Chad runs up the stairs and launches the special package toward it's intended recipient... You! P.S. Read sluggy.org if you're curious about who Riff is any other obscure reference in this completely crappy, off-topic post. -- Chad Walstrom <chewie at wookimus.net> http://www.wookimus.net/ assert(expired(knowledge)); /* core dump */ _______________________________________________ TCLUG Mailing List - Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota http://www.mn-linux.org tclug-list at mn-linux.org https://mailman.real-time.com/mailman/listinfo/tclug-list